A Decade of Change

Ten years seems like half a lifetime, yet in reality, it feels like I blinked. It was on the 23rd of February, 2009, that we bid a sad but honorable, farewell to my dad. I ponder how our lives have changed in this past decade.

My mom met Doug, a loving gentleman to share her life with. Our daughters were Grandpa Louie's pride & joy. They have matured into talented young women. My dad would surely be beaming in their accomplishments & would have enjoyed being in the midst of their remodeling projects.

Courtney is a Recreational Therapist. She & her boyfriend Shane, bought a house 2 months ago & are nearing the end of a whole house cosmetic makeover. Shane is skilled in building trades, so it has been a full on DIY for them with help from family & friends. 

Kelsey is a Nurse Tech & full time student in Nursing School. She & boyfriend Tyler, bought a house 14 months ago. Dave & Tyler dug into a main bathroom demo & remodel, a month ago. With the help from from Kelsey, family & friends, it should be completed soon.

Between mudding, sanding, & painting in Nahma, skim coating & painting a few spaces in our Grand Rapids home, mudding & sanding at Kelsey & Tyler's & then sanding & painting at Courtney & Shane's, I have become more precise with my skills.

Dad would relish in the beautiful things that Dave has built... a cedar sauna and a couple small sheds constructed from milled logs harvested from our wooded UP property. He has crafted live edge tables, farm tables, Adirondack chairs, & customized more things than I will list. I'm certain Dad would have had a list of ideas & probably have a path to possible trees he & Dave could fell. Dad truly loved nature & enjoyed working with wood. His walks in the woods brought reflection & conversation with God. He shared many observations with me over the years.

When my dad was diagnosed with bladder cancer 20+ years ago, major remodeling plans for the vacation home they had recently purchased in the UP, were put on hold. He & Dave did tackle a few needed projects to make the house function safely. It was a get away to hang our hat, enjoy the serenity of the place, soak up time with family, relax, or play. Dad & Mom had discussed adding a garage to their home in Belding, but never did. The year dad passed, mom had the garage built. That Summer of 2009, a few of their close friends spent a few weeks spiffing up the UP house. Over the years, they have enjoyed many get aways together.

Two years ago, Dave sold our business & retired. He & I started a full on remodel of the UP house, encountering a time capsules of sorts, left by my dad. It was not intentional, but one was the placement of a few hand tools & Shop Vac in the attic. They were evidence of where dad had stopped working before he began a continuing journey with cancer. They were no longer shiny & new or weathered & used. Sadly, they were rusted & covered in the bat guano & urine that Dad had planned to eradicate from the space. With every nasty pile of guano that fell from the demolished ceilings to each bat evicted, we were reminded that Dad had planned to seal off their passageways!

This past year, mom had the attached garage drywalled. A few minor remodeling tasks are happening in her longtime home, to make it function better as her life slows down. Although, she is still like the Energizer Bunny!

Not a day goes by that I do not think about my dad. In every project, in each deep conversation, in simple milestones, he is there. Although, he is not in my physical space, he is in my heart & my memories. I love & miss you, Dad!

Louis Charles McMillan 9/20/40 - 2/23/09

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17 ~

Grave Robbers

I am on the level of peeved, appalled, and downright disappointed. I stopped at my dad's gravesite in Belding's River Ridge Cemetery last night a little after 8pm. I had not yet visited the cemetery this year, due mostly to the fact when I have been to town in recent weeks I've been on a tight schedule, or at least on my arrival and left after dark. For as long as I can remember my mom has purchased flowers and baskets and has adorned loved ones grave sites prior to Memorial Day. This is a ritual of respect and remembrance honoring those buried beneath the sod. With the Winter cold lasting longer into May, I had asked mom around Mother's Day if she wanted me to secure flowers, since we live near a mega, family owned greenhouse. She and Doug had already purchased baskets and a few geraniums to plant. She had told me her disappointment with the grounds just prior to Memorial Day. She had returned to the cemetery with a rake as the leaves on my Uncle Marvin's grave were 4' deep! When I was younger, I remember how beautiful the cemetery looked. I asked my mom if the cemetery in Alma was still as picturesque as I remember, because River Ridge certainly was not!

I let the 10" high grass & weeds slide as it has been raining a fair amount in the past few days. Thankfully, I had mosquito spray in my vehicle, something natural, not homemade, but still disgusting to have to spray on. I pulled out a pair of scissors I keep in the glove compartment and trimmed all around the headstone, pulled weeds, and wiped off the stone. No big dilemma, as I know some mowing crews don't get close to headstones if there are flowers planted or adornments. It was disheartening to see the large rectangular earthen space where the hole had been dug for burial to be so obvious.  It was permeated with dirt and weeds instead of green grass. If there were any blades of grass, they were camouflaged in the weeds. Considering dad has been buried for over five years and that dirt rectangle looks as if they filled the hole last month, perhaps I should hand till it and plant some robust forbs for the deer! Then the weeds will SERVE a purpose.

As I prepared to back out, it struck me something was missing...a shepherd's hook and a patriotic hanging basket.  I looked around to see if any other graves had shepherd hooks or basket frames(thinking maybe groundskeepers had to move them to mow). There were several in the SW corner. There were other taller shepherd's hooks standing at attention devoid of any flowering baskets adorning them. One in particular had two twin hooks, yet only one purple flowering basket graced one of the hooks. Had mom removed the hook and basket on dad's grave or had someone helped themselves to the flowers placed by my mom and others? I called mom and they had been up last week to water flowers on my dad and uncle's graves so flowers were still there. She told me of the recent retirement a few years ago of a longtime, 80 year old caretaker. Well, that might answer why River Ridge is not so serene anymore.

This morning I called and spoke with Kareen at Belding City Hall. Sadly, she has also personally experienced grave robbing thieves at Saint Joseph's Cemetery. Not wanting to excuse the lack of care of the grounds, she explained many other projects have kept city workers away, but would notify the proper department of the lack of grass. I can understand their rationalization but one must also consider the fact that when burial plots are purchased there is a perpetual care grounds fee attached. These funds are generally invested so there is always funding for maintenance of the grounds. Are these paid fees going into the General Fund, leaving the cemetery without funding?  If the city of Belding does not have the manpower, I could suggest a solution to possibly more than just maintenance of the cemetery grounds. Of course, it would require a staffed person to oversee since who, in our society of  'I deserve to be paid, wants to volunteer' for any beautification projects? With that being stated, I am sure there are members of society within Ionia County that need to perform Community Service.

My sinister side would like to set up any unsuspecting five finger discounters with an electrifying experience to help them gain wisdom as to why one does not take something that doesn't belong to them. We will replace the planter and once again, it might take a walk with a disreputable malefactor. I am thinking of attaching a note or writing directly on the container, a catchy phrase to make the next thief ponder their actions. Why do I doubt there would be any contemplation?

Father's Day

In the past few weeks I have gathered with family and friends for somber moments of reflection & celebration of a life on earth, abbreviated. Through tears & heartache, a humbling certitude brought sincere gratitude to my life. There were people that I had not encountered face to face in years, due to living our life in different cities or states. I was the only child born to my parents, yet I was rarely a lonely child. My parents opened their hearts & our home to family & friends that needed a safe harbor. My dad was an alcoholic for many years. His drinking & ugliness encompassed the time frame some of these people lived with us. Personally knowing how awful those years were in a sometimes violent environment, it's daunting to think it was still a desired place these young people wanted to be.

My dad was sober from my 7th-12th grade years. He chose a life of sobriety when I was 26, at which time his first grandchild was 6 months old. Sobriety is never an easy battle but he was valiant in his effort, choosing to speak honestly to those that were once like him, & didn't want to hear what he had to say. He was called upon to speak at local & regional levels, to audiences small to large. I'm proud of my father for not giving in to those that found the need to berate his soberness. It was his desire to be an active participant in his granddaughter's life. Courtney & Kelsey were his pride & joy until the day he died, in February, 2009.

Not that I ever doubted, but I am humbled by those that have shared with me, the positive impact created & difference my parents made in their life. When I was young & long after I moved away from home, I heard stories of ongoing life lessons learned from my dad. His mentoring came through a walk in the woods, teaching how to clean & take care of a gun, included a youngster on a hunting outing, home remodeling & repairs, car engines, strumming a guitar & teaching many to play guitar. The more important lesson was how music can soothe your soul. One of the best traits my dad had was his ability to listen & discern. We could talk & listen with each other for hours, trying to solve the world's problems. There was always plenty of conversation left for another day. I miss those moments.

As this Father's Day comes to a close...HAPPY FATHER'S DAY in Heaven, Dad. Your love & sincerity is ever present in those around me!

Happy Father's Day to Dave, my husband & daddy to our daughters & to Bob, my father-in-law & grandpa to our girls. My life is blessed because of each of you.

Uttering Without Intonating

Almost 10 trillion messages will be sent through mobile message and SMS in 2013. Not all will be equally received. Gone are the days of humorous, indirect, read between the lines type of comments. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO CONVEY EMOTIONS, BODY LANGUAGE, OR INTONATION through a text message! This is true for all social media, aside from Skype and FaceTime like interactions. The emoticons, symbols, and punctuation marks might be semi-effective but DON'T reflect true personality. Think of the people you interact with through texting: friends, strangers, business clients, a future date... Perhaps this is how the term 'hooking up' evolved. (That's another blog...SMH). The most painful gaffe is hitting the Send or Post tab when you are correcting or deleting something. Sometimes hitting the Send or Post button altogether, is the only faux pas! Happy texting troops ;)

I find shock value in the shameless use of vulgarity onscreen and off by the Millenial Generation. My parents were not believers of corporal punishment. I must say, had I uttered a fragment of many of the words my children and their friends use, I would have been slapped into reality and probably chewed on a little soap. I think the overall narcissism portrayed by this generation of young people is reflective of their use of social media and lack of quality face to face interaction. Never in my 50 years have I felt so restrained in the words I choose to communicate with my own children and their friends, whether face to face, on the phone, or via social media.

Stay-at-Home Mom doesn't really describe me. We were active when we wanted to be, having fun by learning, creating, contributing to society. We raisied our children in a loving, Christian environment; with family oriented activities; dinner and devotions around the table as a family most nights; hugs, kisses, story time, and prayers before bed; lots of love, giggles, and all out laughter. We have opened our home to two young people in the International Community to join in the craziness of the thing we call family. We remain like parents to each of them in their respective lives outside of college. Somewhere in the muddle of high school and college, the interactive lines of overall communication became strained, in regards to our biological children. Yes, I know that gap is normal, but after talking with friends with older children, this is a different kind of gap. I'd say more like a trench. We have been reminded by our 'children' and their friends that we are well liked by their friends. We try to have fun. I always wondered, are their parents not fun? As they matured, social media and a 24/7 connection became available. It was in this realm, that our family rules no longer held the same value. Sources outside our family also influence our children's decisions. Lines are crossed and values challenged.   

As my husband and I enter mid-life, thinking of ((gasp)) retirement and attempt to guide our girls in a positive direction beyond the walls of their childhood home, we try to keep our composure(aka: opinions to self ). To alleviate student loan debt, we sacrifice greater personal pleasures by assisting them with tuition expenses and books, as long as they reside at home. Each child acknowledges their own understanding of respect for rules and moral compass. We assign them responsibility of their car insurance, tags and health care co-payments. They need to employ themselves to afford gas, entertainment, and clothing expenses. As they strive to be accountable adults, they are reminded it takes family interaction to make a household run smoothly. I have been blessed to call them mine. I pray they feel the same for me.

Happy 12th Birthday to our big boy, senior Brittany, Stripe! I'm a little late to the party. He celebrated his big day on Thursday, April 11, without a lot of fanfare. It was chilly and rainy so no long walk in the field or woods...maybe tomorrow.

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Remembering Ruskin

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Blooming Basement

I am posting a couple of pics of our evolving basement/family room space taken on May 19. It has changed a couple of times since then, with the addition of a big, comfy couch that now occupies the orange wall where the entertainment cabinets are. The couch was in need of a little reinforcement, which my handy husband took care of with a few dabs of Gorilla Glue & some clamps. As it was purchased 2nd hand from Craigslist for $100, it seemed to need some additional pillows along the back. I had purchased a few Euro Shams for under $5 each a few years ago with a color scheme in mind. All I needed was some 24"x24" filler pillows, which can be pricey, even at 1/2 price at the craft or fabric shop. I remembered seeing some top quality quilted ones on clearance at Marshall's for $13 each. As I was walking down an aisle heading to the clearance shelf, a designer pillow setting on a chair nearly screamed at me! The main color looked to be the same deep taupe as the couch. Accented with cream, sage green, dark orange, & aqua, it was a fantastic find. The hunt was on for 2 more! I did buy all 3 of the plain 'filler' pillows, just in case my search for the additional designer ones failed, besides I already had a plan for those. Ultimately, I only landed 1 more designer pillow which were $24.99 each, but I purchased a king duvet in the coordinating Hillcrest Paradise set, with the thought of sewing a 3rd Euro sham. I have another seating project, a vintage settee & 2 chairs from a late 1800's hotel parlor, waiting for my attention in the barn. My design plan became more concrete with the duvet purchase. New king pillows were snagged for the pillowcases, which should fit nicely across the back of my project seating. Now, if I could only land the cute accent pillows that match for a whole lot less than the $35 starting price on ebay!

The brown wooden chairs were a prototype picked up for $5 each a few years ago, from the personal shop of a designer employed at one of the local, big office furniture giants. I had the 'oops' color tinted at Home Depot to a deeper brown. It looked great when in the can, but not quite what I was desiring. I'm thinking of repainting them; still undecided if I want to go cream or my original plan, a deep ebony brown, which would match closely to the storage pieces. I have a bright sage green planned for that parlor set, so that will add a big punch of unexpected color to the space. We haven't solidly chosen which of the several bolts of fabric we already own, will adorn the seats of the wooden chairs or the parlor set. I had originally thought about a fun animal print on the parlor set but it is still evolving. Look for new photos soon of the couch & pillows. The other projects will get due attention soon enough.

We are swimming in produce as Dave grew a huge garden this year. I've canned 3 different recipes of pickles. The last time I assisted fermenting cukes I was probably in middle school. We know our blind dog, Ruskin, likes them. One of the jars had leaked & it must have been vinegar & garlic bliss for his sniffer because he was rooting around in the quart jars in a box on the floor. The difficult part about pickles is exacting a perfect recipe, as they need to set to develop their yummy goodness for about 3-6 weeks. I've put up seasoned tomato sauce, as Courtney & I get sick from store bought. We have been snipping, slicing & freezing beans, peppers, zucchini, & squash. I've baked zucchini bread & cupcakes. I'm hoping to make salsa yet & try my hand at summer squash soup to freeze. We have been eating all kinds of delicious freshness from our garden! Our early raspberries were a bit of a fizzle, with lots of small berries that fell apart in your hand. Dave's mom & dad trimmed them back to prepare for the 2nd round. We should have ripe berries in 7-10 days! I found some recipes for canned pie filling that I would like to try. Dave brought our fair cow home from the processor on Monday. We delivered 2 large coolers full of frozen zucchini to Degage Ministries to make room. Dave emptied the 'berry' freezer of berries gone bad(freezer burn), thus the desire for a canned method. I also will try vacuum sealing 1 cup servings for smoothies. Our 3 year old Food Saver vacuum sealer also quit working last week. They determined it was probably the motor & not replaceable...NICE...NOT! I snagged a fab deal & ordered a new one..ugh. As of yesterday, we are back to the business of packaging & freezing.

Life's Renovations

I guess I am not so good at keeping the BlogSpot updated. It seems I have no problems staying active on Facebook. I always say I'll do better...but fail miserably. Its hard to believe that I used to journal everyday in my youth.

It has been a complete year since Kelsey graduated high school. When Courtney graduated High School in 2007, she was still involved with outside activities that we attended. While she was in HS, her & Kelsey were in many of the same activities so it was shared time. Having both girls, plus Nick & Amy, in college has been a different stride in my daily walk. I love being able to interact with them on a less hectic schedule but I do MISS the chaos that sports & music brought into our lives.

Kelsey had planned on running in college, although choosing Nursing as a major, grades weighed heavily, add the need for additional tuition funds on top of sports $$ being offered at select universities, her desire of not wanting to run Cross Country in the fall & not wanting to be gone every weekend...she settled with Grand Rapids Community College. Last year, Courtney changed courses from Nursing to a path toward Physical Therapy. When course selection became very competitive at Grand Valley State University, she was enrolled & ready to transfer to Baker College in Muskegon. She was finally able to secure classes & continue her path at GVSU, without having to give up so many credits! She will hopefully graduate in LESS than 2 years with a Bachelor of Science in Therapeutic Recreation. While many of her friends & her cousin, Christine graduated this year, after 4 yrs of college life, she perseveres through change. Depending on job selection upon receiving a BS, she will decide if she will continue on for a doctorate in Physical Therapy.

Courtney works at Ulta, a retail beauty supplies store & salon. She loves her job. Kelsey works for Dave in the rare event that he needs help, therefore she has actively been looking for additional employment. Filling the gas tank takes a healthy part time job to say the least. Both girls are free of classes for the summer. They can usually come up with free or low expense activities to make life a little more exciting. I've been trying to stay fresh with photography, looking to launch a website soon.

We have been sorting and purging, painting and decorating, mostly the basement. Dave ordered enough cork flooring to complete Courtney's room, so her carpet was ripped out this past week. A few more planks & it will be done. In March of 2010, we undertook a renovation project involving of our kitchen, living room, laundry room, bedrooms & garage. We even moved to our RV inside the barn for 1 1/2 weeks. We installed cork in our bedroom & Kelsey's bedroom but didn't have enough for Courtney's room. Now, in hind sight, Dave wishes he had purchased the whole LOT that was being offered at a phenomenal savings. It would have covered all 4 bedrooms & the 3 walk in closets. Looking for granite for my mom on Craigslist, when we saw all that was for sale, I called Dave to come with the checkbook =) We were only able to secure just under half of the cork flooring originally offered, as someone else snatched it up quickly! We also brought home a good amount of composite granite, pendant lighting, 2 different sets of cabinets & a vessel sink from a high dollar Downtown Grand Rapids office property that was never used. Kelsey & I wanted some other goodies, but even at unbelievably inexpensive prices, the bank account can only stretch so far. We paid $500, or maybe it was $600 for the cork. Had we taken the original LOT it would have been ONLY $100 more. The bargain price we just secured to complete a few square feet....$533!!! I told Dave tonight he should have put something different in Courtney's room...AAHHH! I'll try to post some pics of the finished areas soon.

Where Does the Time Go?

Wow, I can't believe I have not updated anything since May 19. We have been busy.

Courtney did cook us supper following her baking escapades. She made a delicious pasta, chicken & broccoli dish with a store bought Italian bread on the side. She baked some fantastic looking tiger cupcakes last week for her GROSS(Swing Dancing) friends. This time it was her friend Bethany's birthday and she likes tigers. Courtney is planning to create some green, out of this world, cupcakes next. Stay tuned for pictures that I will take. She took a pic w/her phone of the tigers and I haven't seen it yet.

Kelsey worked hard and executed her skills wonderfully on the track at the State meet on May 30. She went into the meet ranked 5th for the 100 meter high hurdles. She made it through prelims & semi-finals with excellent running and leaping. She was guaranteed a place & medal for State! In the finals she was leading until the 6th hurdle. On the 9th hurdle she caught her foot and lost some minor hundredths of a second. Her and the gal from Hemlock crossed the line together but Hemlock had a small edge. We were so excited for Kelsey that she took 4th place in Division 3 at the STATE meet! She has gotten over her disappointment for the most part.

Kelsey has been a little sad for the fact that many of her good friends graduated last Tuesday. Her and some of her other friends returning to high school in the fall all agree it will be different without them. Kelsey continues to make new friends. She has been hosting bon fires in the fabulously simple fire pit that Dave put up in the back yard last year. Sometimes it might be a few people and then tonight we had about 30 people! They come and go and they are entertained only a few steps away. The hot tub is on the deck, only a few steps up from the yard. Hopefully, they are not misbehaving in the moments that I don't have my full attention on them. If they are being naughty they will surely hear it from me! ... lol. Most of them come in and help make goodies or come inside just to visit. Now all we need to do is finish getting those too small clothes and misc objects of years gone by OUT of the basement. Then if the weather isn't bon fire friendly they can chill in front of the TV with a movie.

Courtney tends to go out with friends or to their apartments or houses. She is at that age where many of her friends live away from home. We keep reminding her how inexpensive it is for her to live under her parent's roof. At times she will have a few people over to go in the hot tub or watch a movie. Besides she would miss us...giggle, giggle. I know I will miss her when she does decide to escape from her paradise.

We got to see my mom almost everyday last week! My cousin Jim and his wife Shara were here from Arizona. They stayed in our 5th wheel parked in the driveway. That is what you call red-neck camping! The trailer offers more comfort, privacy and a queen size bed plus 2 tv's and a modern kitchen & small bathroom. The basement bedroom and living space has been over run with bags and boxes needing to be sorted and donated. Dave wanted the basement bedroom for his 'hunting room'. The girls and I decided he could have the library because we want a 'fire code safe' spare bedroom with windows. If I could keep them home during their waking hours long enough I might have some help sorting :(

Kelsey and I checked out a track club, The Grand Rapids FIRE, Monday and Tuesday. She is excited to run in an AAU or USA Youth type track program. This just was not the fit for her. It is fairly new and the people running the program are dong the right things. Most of the kids are very young. There was only one other high school girl in the club and I think 2-4 boys. Both days they had practiced an hour earlier and were leaving when we arrived. They practice at Ottawa Hills High School which is near Grand Rapids Christian High, but still a 20-25 minute drive for us in good traffic. With her asthma she trains at a different pace, not slower, just spaces her speed training out a little more. She wants to tighten her hurdle form and speed. We are thinking of giving it a go as an Independant at the sanctioned meets. It would be nice to have her in a program or find an individual trainer to work with her that won't cost a fortune. If you know of any opportunities give us a shout.

Dave has been busier than myself in the yard. He has uprooted and dug out hostas, lillies, peonies and numerous other plants from our front garden of weedin'. Dave killed off the weeds and then rototilled the area. Kelsey's friends lent a hand one evening. Thank you to Ben who wielded the shovel with great talent. We (mostly Dave) have split and replanted hosta around most of the trees in the yard. I now know why people have these tailored looking yards lined with hosta and lillies. Every time they split them they get 2-4 plants and need to find a new place to plant them!

We have yet to land any camping for the summer. Kelsey has enjoyed some fun days at the dunes by Silver Lake so we have entertained that possibility. There have been some sites open up over the past week, but nothing for Grand Haven unless we camp in a tent. I no longer find that to be an enjoyable adventure, so it will come down to day trips to the beach. We are also paying attention to sanctioned track meets that Kelsey can compete in. We do not want to rush our summer away.

Best Face Forward

At 11:00pm last night, Courtney left to go stay overnight with some friends, but not before baking 2 dozen cupcakes and a homemade cheesecake. She has been promising cheesecake for all of her Grand Rapids Original Swing Society friends. This morning she spent acquiring a filming location for her friend Caleb. She was ecstatic over the fact she would have 2 different 'credits' in his film. He suggested she could use her 'management' talents on a regular basis. I told her when something needs to be done and it is a challenge, then it is more satisfying when you accomplish the fete. Today is her friend Lauren's birthday and I guess she likes owls, because this afternoon Courtney created 24 owl 'faces' on the cupcakes she baked with mini oreos, frosting, runts, and M&M's. The completed project was a delectable looking treat.

I got a call from Kelsey this morning at 10:00am. She was on break and had just finished Gym Class. They had been playing Ultimate Frisbee. She ran or dove for the frisbee and put her best face forward...and slammed it into another friend's shoulder. It just about knocked her out. She was worried about a concussion, after hearing news reports earlier this year of Natasha Richardson's death, following a minor skiing accident. The athletic director happened to be talking with her teacher and answered questions about a concussion. I called her doctor's office and they had me ask her a bunch of questions, so the text lines were hot. If there is any chance of a concussion they send you straight to the ER. Oh, yay! She kept in contact with me. I delivered her and 2 of her friends Mountain Dew slushies from Speedway at the end of lunchtime. I reminded them NOT to spill, as they have Business Communications in the new Media Center. I really don't think the teacher would have been thrilled with me. The other 5 students in that class were probably salivating for those slushies. Kelsey continued to be dizzy, have a sore neck, a headache and pain in the back of her head, which she did not hit. She is also dealing with a wonderful spring cold. I stuck around Grandville running errands while she was in her afternoon classes. Her last 3 classes are all with close friends so I had them watching for any changes. It could have been as simple as picking her up and bringing her home. Unfortunately, when she had pneumonia at the start of the year she missed 11 days, then another 2 days when Grandpa Louie passed away. Calvin Christian allows a maximum of 15 missed days. Then you may not get credit for any of your classes, regardless the reason. Since the 9th & 10th grade members of the Track team had a JV Invitational in Belding, her practice would be minimal. It was only her and 2 other girls, also going to the State Meet, that had practice. I stayed nearby making sure she could drive home. She took a cool shower, rested while a friend checked in on her, and is now holding up a pillow in the cool basement while watching the newly released movie,'Taken'. I think it shall be a good idea if she continues to use her skills running circles and leaping, even though it is equally possible to get a concussion in the Pole Vault!

We will be monitoring Kelsey over the next few days. She has a local Track meet featuring the best of the best next Tuesday, then the State Meet on that Saturday. Hopefully, the cold leaves her body soon and she has no remnants of that HEAD-on collision. As for Courtney working in theatre, we hope she continues in her medical path and finds respite in assisting her friends challenges. Tomorrow she is cooking dinner. We'll keep you posted.

A New Season

Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely,
to risk life, to be needed ~ Storm Jameson

We enjoyed a fabulous Spring Break in Bradenton Beach on Anna Maria Island in Florida. Dave, Kelsey and I joined a few other families that we are friends with. We entertained ourselves with friends, the beach, dinners, an interesting trolly ride, and an even more interesting Bradenton Seafood/Music Fest. We even tried to recreate our version of The Titanic with two sinking pontoons. You had to be there! Kelsey and friends, including our dear friend Linda and son Jon went para-sailing over the Gulf of Mexico. Kelsey created some new friendships with kids from our home area. That has blossomed ten fold into a tribe of friends she now hangs with. Thank you God for the fun that was had in our 'little blue house' on AMI. Courtney chose to stay home with Grandma Arlene and 4 dogs. Normally, Courtney has plans almost every night after classes. Every time we called she was HOME enjoying her time with Grandma. They had a fabulous time hanging out together!

It is hard to believe that another school year is almost done. Courtney has been done with classes at Grand Valley State for almost a month! Kelsey has a couple more weeks until summer break.

Courtney is contemplating a change in majors, from Nursing to Physical or Occupational Therapy. Then it is the decision to study in an Assistant or Doctorate program. If you have input, send it our way :) Courtney has taken a deeper interest in cooking and baking. She likes to try her hand at new menus for dinner and shake up some yummy treats for her friends. It gets her to the grocery store with mom and lets me out of the kitchen for a little while. She has not fully grasped that clean up does not just mean cleaning off the counter and putting the dishes in the sink...lol. It will come. Courtney has been a subject for photographers, some local and others visiting family in the area. Her model portfolio is growing. She has gathered some really nice captures and has had a lot of fun along the way. Just so you know she always has another adult along for the shoot :) She starts a new job this morning. She is helping prep a local corn field for their annual Witches Walk Corn Maze in the fall. Dave would like to hire her for more hours but only has small tedious jobs for her now and then. That doesn't quite offer enough for mad money, let alone gas $$.

Kelsey has had a decent season with Track. She took All Conference for 100 high & 300 low hurdles for Calvin Christian. At the Conference Meet she also placed 3rd in the Long Jump and as 3rd leg in the 400 Relay, that team took a close 2nd. At Regionals this past Friday, she placed 2nd in the 100H and will compete for the 2nd year in a row, at the State meet on May 31. She scratched by a few inches on her best ever long jump(meaning her toes were over the scratch line of the take-off board). If the 'scratch' distance were subtracted from the length it would have put her in 2nd place and on to State for LJ...maybe next year. Her Relay team has had substitutions due to injuries, sickness and for the Regional event...Prom. Their relay team took a 6th place and were less than a second from the State qualifying time. They went to State last year with the 400 Relay. In the 300 low hurdles, Kelsey placed 3rd with less than a second from State qualifying time and only 2.5 seconds behind the 1st place hurdler, who is ranked #1 in the whole state! We think she and her team mates performed well.

As I mentioned, Friday night was the Jr/Sr Prom for Calvin Christian. They had a beautiful venue at the VanAndel Public Museum. Its located in a prime downtown location along the river with bridges and cityscape views for fabulous photos. We rushed home after her last running event so Kelsey could shower, dress & make-up her already beautiful face. I dropped her off just as the dance portion was getting under way. She missed out on the ice-cream sociai, one of her favorite foods, and all the picture taking going on. They even had the carousel open for the kids. I heard from a couple of her friends that the music was lame and reminded them of a Middle School skating party. Kelsey agreed but had a great time anyway.

I have been snapping myself into craziness. I absolutely love my camera and take pictures of everything I can. Of course that is usually my children and their friends! I have so many photos on my computer that I can not even edit until I download past photos to discs. It gets really frustrating. The girls & I love our Macs. Dave doesn't. He's a PC man...haha. I need to upgrade my internal memory and all will be better. I guess I should have stuck with that more expensive MacPro that I started out with. I decided on the smaller iMac 24" for portability...hmmm, what was I thinking?

Dave ventured to the Upper Peninnsula a couple weeks ago. At the house in Nahma, he took out the furnace and replaced it with the space heater that mom & dad had taken up last year. Loaded up the old but 'new' furnace, an old boat & trailer, and a wicker set to his flat bed trailer along with his 4 wheeler already on board. He only spent a couple days at the house, then spent Thursday to Sunday with a large group of guys from our church 4 wheeling across God's north country. He was accused of looking like a Beverly Hillbilly when he arrived at the outcamp! They had good weather and a fun time.

My Mom, Arlene, visits Dad's resting spot regularly, checking to make sure the grass didn't completely wash away in our monsoon rain we had. As she put it, 'someone had trampled across the new grass with giant footsteps'. Then she realized they they had placed the bronze plaque and had a board supporting it. She planted flowers on Dad & Marvin's grave, went back to cover them from frost and then uncover them...a couple of times. Mom has been making sweeping changes all over their homestead. Shortly after Dad's passing she paid her neighbor and his brother to put on a new deck, adjoining the newer portion that Dad had replaced for the hot tub a couple years ago. The old portion, like what Dad replaced, literally broke through the week of the funeral. Her hot tub has been repaired from the boo-boo caused by the electrician cutting through the water line. She has already enjoyed it sometimes twice a day! My cousins Jim and Roger and the neighbor helped remove her old bathroom vanity, cupboards in the little bedroom, and furniture. They have sorted and scrapped all sorts of things from the barn and yard. Mom has ripped up carpeting, painted walls and will have new wood floors in the bedroom to match the dining room, new vinyl flooring in the bathroom, along with a new toilet & pedestal sink. This work is being done while she has escaped to Nahma. She even has my cousin Jim on 'frost patrol' at the house and cemetery. My cousins, her friends and neighbors are so good to her :) She took paint along to Nahma to tackle some tasks up there also! It has been cold in Nahma. Mom said it is nice and toasty with the new space heater and it doesn't sound like a jet taking off like the furnace did. She has been busy sorting and tossing at the UP house also. She will be home this weekend before the honors service at the cemetery. She also wants to watch Kelsey in the State Track Finals. Mom plans to tackle the kitchen and dining room when she returns home.

I've been trying to be as ambitious as my mom. Whew! My schedule with my kids doesn't allow me hours at a time to stay on a project so I try to be as effiecient as I can. I get easily sidetracked though. Maybe I should just get a full time job. Yeah, good luck with that one, and hire my organization and dispersal of items to someone else. Mom and a couple of friends did clean our bathrooms top to bottom while we were in FL. That was a nice treat to come home to. Thank you ladies! We are trying to make our basement 'hang-out' friendly. We have boxes of clothes & toys to go to Nice Twice, Calvin Christian's second hand store. We have items that need to get marketed on craigslist and ebay. I have more painting of walls and of furniture, including a bed frame before Mom comes back home. Courtney is begging to redo our dining room table. Yay, I finally have someone to help me do to that project! Dave and I need to tackle a problem perennial garden we redid a few years ago. We have enough projects to last us until Kelsey's graduation open house NEXT YEAR!

Restored and Made Strong

This past Monday, February 23, is the kind of day that you never want to endure. Before Mom arrived at the hospital a new team of doctors with fresh perspectives, following old clues and conferring with the previous Critical Care Team were in checking and evaluating Dad. The ICU has a rotating team of medical professionals each week. Dad was scheduled for a new dialysis port for the morning, with dialysis in the afternoon. With doctors continually reviewing the charts you would think they would have been able to fine tune the trouble spot for Dad's mysterious infection and fluid retention that made his belly so distended. The doctors had an answer and a probable cause but the outlook did not look favorable for a full recovery for Dad. They suspected a rupture or leak of the chyle duct. I had never heard of this anatomical term. I guess it would be left to Google. http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/190025-overview.
Their explanation made sense, that's all that mattered. They would continue to do everything they could to try and turn around Dad's condition for as long as we desired. They were on morning rounds and I felt Mom needed to be present before any further treatment plans were engaged. As she arrived Dr. Cox and his team were prepping to put the new temporary port into Dad's neck area.

As they performed the port procedure, we took a walk to the lobby to mail some greeting cards Mom had prepared, one for Dr. Pates who delivered me 46 years ago. He is the oldest practicing doctor in Idaho! No, I wasn't born in Idaho. He used to live in Belding. His daughter was celebrating his 85th birthday with a surprise. We wandered back to the family lounge where Mom read her book and I wrote a little bit into the blog. Nurse Jenn came and said they were all set and we could come back anytime. Mom headed back as I packed up the laptop. She was gone a couple of minutes then peeked over my shoulder and said the doctors were done for their morning procedures and could talk with us in the consultation room.

They explained in greater detail of the possible chyle leak, which in healthy patients can be controlled. In order to confirm the diagnosis more tests, ultra sounds, and ex-rays of specific detailed areas would need to be done. Surgery would be required, which Dad was not a sound candidate for, considering all of the recent set-backs. The doctor explained in certain pro-active(politically correct?) terms that he was pro-life and respected the patient and the family's desire for protecting the quality of life. It makes one wonder what kind of college and humanity courses on compassion these professionals need to acquire in order to maintain their composure in such conversations with a patient's family. They needed to know if we had any previous conversations with Dad prior to surgery regarding long term, life sustaining measures. Any that knew Dad would question that we had already pushed the limits on heroic measures with all that had already been done. Dad had already been going to dialysis 3 times/week for a few weeks prior to surgery so was already in gear for that plan. With all of Dad's recent complications, at best, if treatment was in the Lord's favor, we would be looking at a long term stay in a Nursing Home. Prior to this last infection Mom and I were prepared to inlist the services of Spectrum Health's LTACH
http://www.spectrum-health.org/cs/Satellite?c=eHA_Content_C&cid=1218817408142&ehapubname=Cont_Care&pagename=Cont_Care%2FCont_Care_Central_Template
for rehabilitation to get Dad back on his feet and in his OWN bed. Nursing Home? Ventilator Dependent? With Dad no longer responding to us, the doctors or physical therapists how much more could we make him endure? We had already felt we overstepped heroic measures with the respirator following his seizure on January 28. With a tearful, prayer of petition to God, we felt his answer had been in front of us already. Dad had been breathing on his own, yet needed the extra pressure support of the ventilator to complete his breaths. As the infection increased so did the dependency on the ventilator. Mom and I agreed that if God was calling, Dad should have the dignity to heed his call. We tearfully called my family together. Pastor Curtis from Spectrum's Pastoral Care brought us a Comfort Quilt, hand stitched by the Quilters Guild at Emmanual Lutheran, and prayed with us as we laid it over Dad's feet. Dave's sister Mary and daughter Christine arrived to join us in our time of prayer and grief. We are one in body as a family. We surrounded Dad with clinched hands, hugs, prayers, tears and laughter from 3:00-4:45pm, at which time God peacefully called him home.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10

The hospital staff was generous with their compassion with regards to Comfort Care, making sure Dad and his family were comfortable and allowing privacy in our time of grief. His nurses Jenn and Bridgett monitored him quietly from their station, periodically coming in to make sure he was in a restful position.

Mary and Christine offered to drive our second car home, but Courtney said she was able. Dave and Courtney had picked Kelsey up at school so her friend Christopher had driven her car to his house, then later shuttled it home when the girls arrived. I drove Mom home in her Tahoe and Dave followed in our Expedition. She insisted that I stay at home with our girls. I didn't give her the option, I called my cousin Jim to come over. She said he didn't have to stay. We had already made a private decision that he would! He told her to get some sleep and he and Murphy would do their thing.

I felt sick to my stomach and had a horrible headache all the way home. Dave stopped at Walgreen's to get cold meds for him. I got out of the truck just to get air. Dave had made several phone calls to people while at Mom's. I wanted to make a couple more when I got home and spend some quiet time with my family, but all I could do was grab a bucket and curl up in my bed. With every twinge of pain from my pounding headache and the chill that overtook me, I was awash with grief and emotion. I could not help but think what kind of pain or the feeling of being cold my dad must have had at times while he lay in that bed unable to talk. My only comfort was knowing that Dad was no longer in pain. I realized I was about 10 hours past due in taking my blood pressure and anti-anxiety meds. I don't carry them with me. Courtney brought me water and Dave garnered my pillow, which I had left in the living room on Sunday afternoon, and another comforter because I was so cold. I finally fell asleep. I awoke at 12:04am feeling much better. I checked on my sleeping girls, let the dogs out briefly and went back to bed. I don't even remember if Dave snored ;) I did wake up every couple of hours though.

Tribute and Honor Arrangements

Johnson-Feuerstein Funeral Home
203 S. Pleasant St.
Belding, MI 48809
616-794-1630
toll free: 1-888-663-5633

http://www.jffh.com/

Funeral services will be at 10:30am, Thursday
at Johnson-Feuerstein Funeral Home
in Belding with Pastor Kendall Harger
of Shiloh Community Church officiating.

Interment with full military honors by the
Belding VFW Post 4406
will follow in River Ridge Cemetery.

Visitation will be Wednesday from 6-8pm at the funeral home.

Memorial contributions may be given to the Alvah N. Belding Library

Farewell to a Great Man

Monday, February 23, 2009: With heavy hearts we said an earthly farewell to our dad, husband and grandfather today. With all of us surrounding him in prayer, Dad courageously entered the woods of Heaven with Our God and Master of Creation at 4:45pm, from the Fred and Lena Meijer Heart Center.

Please uplift our family in prayer for peace of mind, as we struggle with Dad enduring 3 weeks of treatments and now as we open a new chapter in our life.

Thank you to all who have been a link in our chain. We are ever grateful for your thoughts and prayers.

I will post further information regarding services later today.

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Philppians 1:21

Sunday, February 22: Ex-ray was in at 6:15am. Dad was restless this morning and his blood pressure is up and down. Nurse Holly laughed and said Dad's morning meds look like pea soup. I agree...ewww! She mixed meds and benefiber and uses a huge syringe to plunge it through his feeding tube.



Physical Therapy came in early and had to deflate Dad's air bed in order to turn him and get him to the edge of the bed to sit up. The right corner of Dad's right eye is really blood shot and his left eye has a yellow film over it. I asked the doctors about it and they said the right eye was probably caused from a broken blood vessel due to coughing and the left eye was just residual blood. Neither should cause alarm. They still look nasty. Mom arrived about 9:00am. I skipped church because the doctors came into talk to us right when I would have needed to leave. I cut for home about 10:30am. Gwen Petrowski pre-arranged to cover my Sunday School class this morning. Thank you Gwen!



Dad received a unit of blood today. He had another Paracentesis performed with another 5 1/2 liters removed! Arrghh!!! Dad was snoozing soundly after the procedure so Mom called and said she was coming to visit. I was excited because for once I could treat her to a meal. I had put a roast in when I got home then I took a long nap. Courtney added carrots when she got home around 1:00pm. I was just starting to make noodles when Mom called. She loves beef and noodles, so it is a good day. Mom headed back to the hospital about 6:00pm. Nurse Sue and Tech Christopher started their shift by removing Dad's temporary dialysis port. The doctors don't like to leave them in for a long duration as infection can occur. A new one will be placed on Monday before dialysis.



Mom creeped out a little after 9:00pm. Family acitivities kept me busy at home so I didn't get up to the hospital until after 10:00pm. I called Mom and when I walked back to the room Sue and Chris had the door closed. I checked with the desk supervisor and she called Chad, who was in the monitor room. They were shaving him and hadn't started his bath yet. I knocked and snagged my bag with Dave's laptop so I could chat with Kelsey and Courtney for a few minutes before bedtime. Dad was awake on and off through the night. Sue sat and visited for a few minutes during a break. She peeked in to say she leaving for lunch. Dad was getting kind of restless. I had his right wrist restraint off which is near his respirator tubes. He rested his hand on his forhead and rubbed his fingers across his eyes. I asked if he had a headache and he winced. Sue arranged for some Fentanyl and Nurse John came in to give that dose. I hate seeing Dad in a fog but really don't want him in pain either. It is better for him to rest at night so he is more alert for all of the crew in the daytime and for Mom.

Nahma Nurse

Saturday, February 21: Dad was restless this morning and Nurse Holly gave him a dose of Ativan while I why dozing. His blood pressure dropped lower than should be for going into dialysis in a short while and he was very lethargic. Holly suctioned him which usually wakes him up and brings up his blood pressure. What a way to wake up...bah! Jim McMillan called just as Mom was walking in Dad's room. He really wants to be able to help Cindy with Murphy when he can. He reminded me that he has a ramp for Murphy :) Mom said that Sally B called and was only 4 hours to her sister's house and it was 75*.

Nurse John started dialysis a 9:30am. He is such a hoot to carry on conversation with. He and Patty are so good at running Dad's dialysis. We are always happy when they are scheduled! Physical Therapy popped in toward the end of dialysis but was not able to work with Dad today due to his schedule. I went for home to spend some quality time cleaning and hanging out with my family. Once again I tried napping to no avail. John was finished about 2:15pm and had taken a 1/2 liter of fluid off. Shortly after John left, Dad's blood pressure monitor set to beeping. His bp was 193/113! He had not had bp meds due to dialysis and Nurse Holly was at lunch. The nurse covering called and was able to administer his bp meds. Within 20 minutes his bp was in line where it needed to be.

Dave is trying to get rid of his cold so he hit the bed for a nap. Despite the snowstorm that has finally arrived, I took Courtney & Kelesy to Alpine for a beauty supplies run to the Meijer Outlet, Marshall's and Ulta. Everybody contain your excitement...lol. Mom called just before 7:00pm and was going to leave for home because the weather wasn't getting any better and Dad was resting. Dave was lounging on the couch in front of the TV when we got home. Kelsey had already called Chris Mulder and he arrived to watch Nascar and hang out until Liz was done with work. Liz had got to our house shortly after I left for the hospital. When I called Mom at 9:30pm she said the roads were horrible, especially near Paulson's house. An oncoming car swerved right into her lane. She was able to tap her breaks and stop and put her Tahoe into low gear. I told her Dad's blood pressure was a little low and I hadn't talked with the nurse yet. Courtney went to a birthday celebration at friends at Calvin College. She made arrangements to stay over with her friend Courtney M and go to church with her in the morning.

When I got back to Dad's room I chatted with Nurse Suzanne, answering questions as to when and how long Dad has been enduring cancer treatments. Dad's bp balanced out. Our conversation led me to comment that Mom and Dad had gone to their home in the U.P. for few weeks after Dad had his drainage tube of 9 months removed in September. She exclaimed, "I lived in the U.P. for 15 years!" Interesting...I asked where. She said between Escanaba and Manistique! I told her our northwoods home was in Nahma. She laughed and said she and her husband and kids had moved two years ago from Nahma Junction! Oh, my word! That is literally a few miles from our house.
She grew up in Milwaukee and her husband grew up in Cooks. Her father-in-law, Harold Carly is 92 years old and still lives there. The Disney melody comes to mind...'It's a small world after all!'

Dad spiked a fever again about 1:00am. More meds to control that and more questions as to where is it coming from?! He has had a couple a really good days with no fever.

Floating on a Bed of Air

Friday, February 20: The Thursday overnight guard was mostly uneventful. Dad had a fairly tiring day on Thursday, and I hadn't been able to sleep at home so I was able to close my eyes a little easier in the super recliner.


Nurse Patty was in shortly after the ex-ray crew, ready to rock Dad's morning with dialysis. He had a really good run this morning and Patty had few issues with the machine. Mom arrived at 10:30am and he only had 30 minutes left of his dialysis! She said that Ken had called to check on Dad. She made an early stop at Leppink's Supermarket to pick up hot dogs, bologna, and turkey...for MURPHY! I left about 11:00am for errands before heading for home. The docs came in right after I left. They told Mom everything is looking good but it still will be a long road.

Mom's friend Sally S surprised Mom again about 12n. They went down to the cafe for sundaes while the Physical Therapy team worked with Dad. Sally visited with Mom until 4:00pm. Its refreshing for Mom to have someone else to talk to. Nurse April and Tech Emily got Dad cleaned up after working so hard with PT. Dad was very active today. When Mom told Dad, "I love you," he smiled and winked at Mom. When he is alert he has pretty good control of his eye contact.
Mom said there was a Kin Air Bed waiting to be moved into his room later.


Dave is whipped from the cold that he has procured. I wonder who he picked that up from? Its surprising he wasn't sick earlier than now. Despite him feeling like he just got hit by a Mac truck, he changed the wheel and tire on Kelsey's car. He had called me earlier to make a phone call and order a wheel from Bakers. He had picked up a used tire from Schneiders in Marne. Kelsey had a chunk out of her wheel and it went into the sidewall of the tire. Somehow supper hour and sleep seem like a perfect match. I think my whole family napped at some point during the early evening hours. I remember waking up hearing Kelsey and her friends talking. I was still tired. Dave told me he had taken care of the beef ribs that I had set to cooking earlier. Mom called and was leaving soom after 9:00pm. By the time I got my body into gear, I didn't get to the hospital until 11:30pm. Nurse Kara and the tech were getting ready to give Dad his bath and transfer him to his new air bed. It was a team effort by a few staff members.


His bed looks like a giant pool float set down into a hospital bed frame. It is inflated based on his height and weight. He seems to be able to rest more comfortably now.

Strength and Reassurance

Last night Dad was supposed to have Kris, whom we have never had, for his nurse but the gentleman next door required her undivided attention. He has more monitors than a pop-star. I think he was deserving of her TLC. I had arrived just as they were preparing to give Dad a bath and get him boosted in a new position for a couple of hours. I chilled in the waiting area calling Mom, per her order, and texting Courtney & Kelsey goodnight ILY's. When I was able to chat with the nurse I thought it was Dan, but he introduced himself as Justin, Floor Supervisor. Charge Nurse Dan was attending Dad before Mom left, but he was called to assist in another room also. Justin is another outstanding nurse. He was attentive to every beep and bonk on Dad's monitors. He has definitely earned his stripes as a Floor Supervisor! Kris was covering for Justin during lunch and also was top-notch at making sure Dad was comfortable.

I commented how nice it was to see so many male nurses. Justin told me there is a higher ratio of male nurses in Critical Care. Kelsey has a couple of guy friends going into Nursing. My advice for you: Go rock the world with this awesome desire that God gave you!!!

Although Dad was resting comfortably, I could not fall asleep. As I watched out the window looking to the East up Michigan Street all I could see was some slight dusting of snow. The forecasted snowstorm had passed us by. My eyes finally drifted shut about 4:00am. Dad began stirring around 4:30am! I did nod off but was awake when ex-ray arrived at 6:15am, then wandered to the family lounge. Someone's support crew was trying to find respite in a couple of chairs pushed together. Both TVs were blaring, cartoons on one and news on the other. I saw school closings listed for the lakeshore cities so I know it was snowing somewhere! I turned both TVs off. Despite the lights at least she was minus the noise. Kelsey told me last night to call at 7:00am not 6:45am. I saw 6:45am come, but dozed until 7:10am...oops. I'm just her kick, in case she hits the snooze button which she rarely does. She was moving & ready to leave for school :)

At the changing of the guard, Nurse Rob resumed his daytime duties. Mom arrived just as the doctors came in to check on Dad's progress. They scheduled a paracentesis, poking the belly with a long needle, http://www.webmd.com/brain/paracentesis-17042 for later in the day. The Heparin drip was stopped. Dad was restless and moving quite a bit. Having a sore bottom would certainly make anyone want to be in a different position! The petite PT crew was in for another round with Dad. Considering the requirements for the job, you would totally expect a Physical Therapist to be tall, 200+ lbs, with a muscular build. I have never encountered a PT with that description. They have all been small framed, with muscles from nowhere. When I look at them I think of a gymnast :) They have been great at working with Dad. They came in and worked with him 2 different times today. Each time they are increasing the time frame they will work with him. They also suggested they will look into a 'stretcher chair' to help Dad get more mobile.

During the belly tap this afternoon, they drained off 5 1/2 liters of fluid equal to 12 lbs! Mom and I thought they were just drawing off enough, like a syringe full, in order to culture it. That is like carrying around 24 cups of coffee!!! Where's the bathroom, already? Mom said he rested nicely after he returned from Radiology. I think we all would!

I always ask Mom if we can bring her some lunch or dinner from home. She is content to find something from the cafeteria that she enjoys. After her oatmeal in the morning, she is actually a fairly light eater. We savored our lasagna dinner, garlic bread, salad, homemade applesauce and cookies. I brought Mom some of the cookies for her snack tomorrow.

Kelsey and I went to Jenison to show respect to Vern, Jana, Brianna & Kaylee VanHalm, in the passing of Vern's father. On February 15, 2009, at the age of 76, Tunis Henry VanHalm joined His Heavenly Choir. May God bless your family with His sustaining grace. Jana said she had talked to her friend Gigi, who had been Dad's nurse... ??? I felt dumbfounded, then she told me her formal name was Gabriella. I reassured Jana that she was an awesome nurse! We have really been blessed with some terrific care givers here.

When I talked to Mom around 7pm, she said if Dad settled down she would leave for home before I got to the hospital. Mom called Courtney to say Jaci is Dad's nurse and is taking good care of him so she left about 9:15pm. I dropped anchor at 10:15pm. hmm...I wonder if she got Murphy's golden arches burger? I forgot to ask :)

There were 3 doctors checking in with Dad from his paracentesis today. We discussed some details. There is the possibility the excess fluid could be caused from recurring cancer, since that has been an ongoing issue, or from liver failure, or something all together different. It is definite that Dad will not be undergoing any surgery anytime soon. He is still very weak and his prognosis for full recovery is not looking in his favor. When test results do not show difinitive answers, a time will come when we need to honor Dad and give him the dignity he would desire.

It breaks my heart to not be able to have a two sided chat during the midnight hour. Dad and I have had the 'farewell' chat many times before. He has been a cancer survivor for 9 years! Being in ICU reminds us daily of 'sudden good-byes' without a farewell. Being an only child, my Mom and Dad have rocked my world with love for over 46 years! I am frustrated that our household has been a recurring petri dish of colds and sniffles, or worse. We have not spent as much time as a family with Dad in the past year because of his high susceptibility for infection. Although, we talked frequently on the telephone, sometimes about nothing and other times we were surely going to save the world! Our girls are 19 & 16 and we have never had a full family photo taken. I go back to my 3rd grade Sunday School lessons, through our prayers of petition we need to take time to listen and hear God's answer.

A greeting card from Mom's cousin Wanda inspired these words:

We are reminded that God who created us can put our world together again.

We ask Him to bring us strength and reassurance as we lean on Him and rest.

McDonald's Coffee Club Missing Louie

Wednesday, February 18: Before Mom left for the hospital Dennis Daller brought her a card for Dad that all of Dad's friends from the McDonald's coffee club had signed. She stopped at Meijer and bought a dry erase board that Dad can use with better ease if he feels like writing.

PT arrived spunky as ever at 8:30am, to get Dad up and active. Patty the Dialysis Nurse peeked in and giggled as she saw the girls working with Dad. The PT's smiled and said, "We wanted to get in here and work with him before you tired him out with dialysis!" Those girls had him sitting up for 18 minutes! Thats about how long you would sit before you went and got a hot refill on your coffee! The PT's worked his legs and arms for a few minutes then let Patti at him with dialysis. Nurse Rob is awesome! He voiced his concern with the doctors about the breakdown of the skin around Dad's trach and his excoriated backside. Unfortunately, from being in bed for so long he has developed sores :( He gets slathered with SensaCare regularly. It is great to have male nurses because they can 'feel Dad's pain'! Since the doctors haven't identified any bacteria that requires Vancomycin, that is being stopped. He is still receiving other anitbioctics.

I returned Linda Alkema's call this morning to catch her up. Her husband Brad has also been sick and she has pneumonia! She said they along with JR and Carol Rosendal were bringing us supper on Thursday. She wanted to find out what night we were all home for dinner. I didn't think I was really all that tired but I slept a good share of the day away. I talked to Carol late this afternoon. I have been going to make homemade chicken noodle soup for a couple of days, but haven't made it to the store to get chicken. For once I don't have any in the freezer! I created enchiladas with some leftover roast and ground beef. Kelsey went straight to church from POMS and ate chicken fingers. Courtney ate with Dave and I before leaving for Club 56. She had to go to the medical library downtown afterward, then went to Ballroom Dancing at Calvin College. I called Mom around 9:00pm to tell her I had not even showered yet. She called back a short time later and told Kelsey they were washing Grandpa up and she was heading for home. Kelsey and I went to Meijer and spent $140.00 on groceries and still didn't get chicken! Hey, it was not on my kind of sale. I'll get it at Sam's. Kelsey is getting her lessons in this week. She had to wash her own gym clothes without me last night because I hadn't washed the load they were hiding in. Tonight she was counting the FREE items we were getting and guessed we had about $135.00 in groceries. I didn't get to the hospital until almost 11:30pm. Mom had been home for almost an hour. Mom has been boosting McDonald's bottom line keeping Murphy in cheeseburgers! Tonight the arches across from the hospital had a big line so she snuck thru on the Beltline just before closing.

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

Vertical & Ready to Cruise with the PT's

Monday, February 16: Kelsey has Winter break so no school today. Dad's steak and eggs slurpie was stopped this morning for procedures later today. Physical Therapy came in and had Dad sitting on the edge of his bed! He let out of a couple of really good belches. That had to feel good! Of course he was woozy from being vertical and from having Xanax 2 hours earlier. They had him wiggle his toes, kick his feet out, and put his feet flat on the floor. I think he liked having his feet meet the floor! He was wobbly and gripping the rail of the bed himself, but he would sometimes close his eyes. He didn't seem ready to lay back down after 10 minutes, but the two petite PT's managed to settle him back into a comfortable position. Just as they were swinging his feet back into bed at 10:00am, in walks Mom. I told her she missed all the action :( She was excited that he had been able to sit up. It was great to see his blood pressure improve when they sat him up.

After I left at 11:00am, Radiology came in the room to do an Ultra Sound of his arm. He then went downstairs for a CT Scan. Nurse John started his dialysis this afternoon. He had a difficult time keeping Dad's blood pressure up. John is always ready with Albumin. His dialysis was done about 9:00pm.

Kelsey spent the afternoon at Amanda's until POMS practice. We met Kelsey after practice, at Steak 'N Shake in Grandville for supper. The youth group at our church was having a fund-raising event. Dave and I both agreed we liked a Wendy's burger better. We rarely eat at hamburger places. Kelsey had chicken. We would definitely enjoy a fund-raiser at Carlo's O'Kelley's Mexican Restaurant or Subway! Kelsey and friend Abby spent the night at Elizabeth's house.

When I got here John was still finishing up with the machines. Dad's BP leveled off. Dad was a busy man today so he is tired. They started him on a Heparin (blood thinner) drip for the clot in his arm.

Tuesday, February 17: I left about 10:00am. I got all the way to the ER parking ramp and realized I had left my phone in the closet. When I got back up to the room PT was in working with Dad again. He sat up on the edge of the bed for about 10 minutes. His Respiratory Tech Theresa, that had exclaimed last week that he was alert, was back from a few days off. She popped in as he was sitting up, "Wow, Louie, look at you!" PT continued to work his legs and arms once he was laying back down. Dad's Renal docs decided no dialysis today, but they are going to juice him up with 2 units of blood. The Ultra Sound from yesterday identified 3 clots in Dad's right arm and the doctors think this could be causing the fever. Honestly, Mom and I feel like we are on an episode of 'Mystery Diagnosis'! This is day 29 in the hospital, only 4 have not been in ICU!

Kelsey is still on Winter Break today so she went to RiverTown Crossings with her friends. She needed a nap at home before meeting back at school for team dinner.

When Radiology came in to do the TEE to Dad's heart, Mom came to our house and we soaked in the hot tub for a few minutes. She was gone for about an hour. The TEE went well and everything looked good. It was a simple dinner of spaghetti but it made Courtney happy. She was off to her evening class downtown then to Swing Dancing. Dave and I went to the Calvin game against Allendale. Kelsey danced in POMS tonight at half time. Kelsey was going to Rainbow Grill with friends and Dave was going home to meet the couch. I arrived for the night shift about 9:30pm. Mom called when she got home and said the roads were good until she hit M-44 and it was icy and was blowing sleet all the way to Belding. Courtney got here about 11:00pm, but Grampa was having his bath. We grabbed munchies from the closet and kept each other entertained in the family lounge until midnight. She was excited when we heard her friend John's name called over the intercom. She checked facebook and said, "Yep, he's working." He works in the lab. Once we got back into the room she stayed for about 30 more minutes. I told her she was looking tired and should go home. Dad was resting comfortably so I walked her out to her car. She dropped me back at the ER door.

Strengthen the feeble hands,

steady the knees that give way;
say to those with fearful hearts,

be strong, do not fear...Isaiah 35:3-4a