Grave Robbers

I am on the level of peeved, appalled, and downright disappointed. I stopped at my dad's gravesite in Belding's River Ridge Cemetery last night a little after 8pm. I had not yet visited the cemetery this year, due mostly to the fact when I have been to town in recent weeks I've been on a tight schedule, or at least on my arrival and left after dark. For as long as I can remember my mom has purchased flowers and baskets and has adorned loved ones grave sites prior to Memorial Day. This is a ritual of respect and remembrance honoring those buried beneath the sod. With the Winter cold lasting longer into May, I had asked mom around Mother's Day if she wanted me to secure flowers, since we live near a mega, family owned greenhouse. She and Doug had already purchased baskets and a few geraniums to plant. She had told me her disappointment with the grounds just prior to Memorial Day. She had returned to the cemetery with a rake as the leaves on my Uncle Marvin's grave were 4' deep! When I was younger, I remember how beautiful the cemetery looked. I asked my mom if the cemetery in Alma was still as picturesque as I remember, because River Ridge certainly was not!

I let the 10" high grass & weeds slide as it has been raining a fair amount in the past few days. Thankfully, I had mosquito spray in my vehicle, something natural, not homemade, but still disgusting to have to spray on. I pulled out a pair of scissors I keep in the glove compartment and trimmed all around the headstone, pulled weeds, and wiped off the stone. No big dilemma, as I know some mowing crews don't get close to headstones if there are flowers planted or adornments. It was disheartening to see the large rectangular earthen space where the hole had been dug for burial to be so obvious.  It was permeated with dirt and weeds instead of green grass. If there were any blades of grass, they were camouflaged in the weeds. Considering dad has been buried for over five years and that dirt rectangle looks as if they filled the hole last month, perhaps I should hand till it and plant some robust forbs for the deer! Then the weeds will SERVE a purpose.

As I prepared to back out, it struck me something was missing...a shepherd's hook and a patriotic hanging basket.  I looked around to see if any other graves had shepherd hooks or basket frames(thinking maybe groundskeepers had to move them to mow). There were several in the SW corner. There were other taller shepherd's hooks standing at attention devoid of any flowering baskets adorning them. One in particular had two twin hooks, yet only one purple flowering basket graced one of the hooks. Had mom removed the hook and basket on dad's grave or had someone helped themselves to the flowers placed by my mom and others? I called mom and they had been up last week to water flowers on my dad and uncle's graves so flowers were still there. She told me of the recent retirement a few years ago of a longtime, 80 year old caretaker. Well, that might answer why River Ridge is not so serene anymore.

This morning I called and spoke with Kareen at Belding City Hall. Sadly, she has also personally experienced grave robbing thieves at Saint Joseph's Cemetery. Not wanting to excuse the lack of care of the grounds, she explained many other projects have kept city workers away, but would notify the proper department of the lack of grass. I can understand their rationalization but one must also consider the fact that when burial plots are purchased there is a perpetual care grounds fee attached. These funds are generally invested so there is always funding for maintenance of the grounds. Are these paid fees going into the General Fund, leaving the cemetery without funding?  If the city of Belding does not have the manpower, I could suggest a solution to possibly more than just maintenance of the cemetery grounds. Of course, it would require a staffed person to oversee since who, in our society of  'I deserve to be paid, wants to volunteer' for any beautification projects? With that being stated, I am sure there are members of society within Ionia County that need to perform Community Service.

My sinister side would like to set up any unsuspecting five finger discounters with an electrifying experience to help them gain wisdom as to why one does not take something that doesn't belong to them. We will replace the planter and once again, it might take a walk with a disreputable malefactor. I am thinking of attaching a note or writing directly on the container, a catchy phrase to make the next thief ponder their actions. Why do I doubt there would be any contemplation?

Father's Day

In the past few weeks I have gathered with family and friends for somber moments of reflection & celebration of a life on earth, abbreviated. Through tears & heartache, a humbling certitude brought sincere gratitude to my life. There were people that I had not encountered face to face in years, due to living our life in different cities or states. I was the only child born to my parents, yet I was rarely a lonely child. My parents opened their hearts & our home to family & friends that needed a safe harbor. My dad was an alcoholic for many years. His drinking & ugliness encompassed the time frame some of these people lived with us. Personally knowing how awful those years were in a sometimes violent environment, it's daunting to think it was still a desired place these young people wanted to be.

My dad was sober from my 7th-12th grade years. He chose a life of sobriety when I was 26, at which time his first grandchild was 6 months old. Sobriety is never an easy battle but he was valiant in his effort, choosing to speak honestly to those that were once like him, & didn't want to hear what he had to say. He was called upon to speak at local & regional levels, to audiences small to large. I'm proud of my father for not giving in to those that found the need to berate his soberness. It was his desire to be an active participant in his granddaughter's life. Courtney & Kelsey were his pride & joy until the day he died, in February, 2009.

Not that I ever doubted, but I am humbled by those that have shared with me, the positive impact created & difference my parents made in their life. When I was young & long after I moved away from home, I heard stories of ongoing life lessons learned from my dad. His mentoring came through a walk in the woods, teaching how to clean & take care of a gun, included a youngster on a hunting outing, home remodeling & repairs, car engines, strumming a guitar & teaching many to play guitar. The more important lesson was how music can soothe your soul. One of the best traits my dad had was his ability to listen & discern. We could talk & listen with each other for hours, trying to solve the world's problems. There was always plenty of conversation left for another day. I miss those moments.

As this Father's Day comes to a close...HAPPY FATHER'S DAY in Heaven, Dad. Your love & sincerity is ever present in those around me!

Happy Father's Day to Dave, my husband & daddy to our daughters & to Bob, my father-in-law & grandpa to our girls. My life is blessed because of each of you.