Friday, August 30, 2013

Uttering Without Intonating


Almost 10 trillion messages will be sent through mobile message and SMS in 2013. Not all will be equally received. Gone are the days of humorous, indirect, read between the lines type of comments. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO CONVEY EMOTIONS, BODY LANGUAGE, OR INTONATION through a text message! This is true for all social media, aside from Skype and FaceTime like interactions. The emoticons, symbols, and punctuation marks might be semi-effective but DON'T reflect true personality. Think of the people you interact with through texting: friends, strangers, business clients, a future date... Perhaps this is how the term 'hooking up' evolved. (That's another blog...SMH). The most painful gaffe is hitting the Send or Post tab when you are correcting or deleting something. Sometimes hitting the Send or Post button altogether, is the only faux pas! Happy texting troops ;)

I find shock value in the shameless use of vulgarity onscreen and off by the Millenial Generation. My parents were not believers of corporal punishment. I must say, had I uttered a fragment of many of the words my children and their friends use, I would have been slapped into reality and probably chewed on a little soap. I think the overall narcissism portrayed by this generation of young people is reflective of their use of social media and lack of quality face to face interaction. Never in my 50 years have I felt so restrained in the words I choose to communicate with my own children and their friends, whether face to face, on the phone, or via social media.

Stay-at-Home Mom doesn't really describe me. We were active when we wanted to be, having fun by learning, creating, contributing to society. We raisied our children in a loving, Christian environment; with family oriented activities; dinner and devotions around the table as a family most nights; hugs, kisses, story time, and prayers before bed; lots of love, giggles, and all out laughter. We have opened our home to two young people in the International Community to join in the craziness of the thing we call family. We remain like parents to each of them in their respective lives outside of college. Somewhere in the muddle of high school and college, the interactive lines of overall communication became strained, in regards to our biological children. Yes, I know that gap is normal, but after talking with friends with older children, this is a different kind of gap. I'd say more like a trench. We have been reminded by our 'children' and their friends that we are well liked by their friends. We try to have fun. I always wondered, are their parents not fun? As they matured, social media and a 24/7 connection became available. It was in this realm, that our family rules no longer held the same value. Sources outside our family also influence our children's decisions. Lines are crossed and values challenged.   

As my husband and I enter mid-life, thinking of ((gasp)) retirement and attempt to guide our girls in a positive direction beyond the walls of their childhood home, we try to keep our composure(aka: opinions to self ). To alleviate student loan debt, we sacrifice greater personal pleasures by assisting them with tuition expenses and books, as long as they reside at home. Each child acknowledges their own understanding of respect for rules and moral compass. We assign them responsibility of their car insurance, tags and health care co-payments. They need to employ themselves to afford gas, entertainment, and clothing expenses. As they strive to be accountable adults, they are reminded it takes family interaction to make a household run smoothly. I have been blessed to call them mine. I pray they feel the same for me.